The Matthew 5:16 Project – Going Back to the Basics

Welcome to November’s Matthew 5:16 Project!

If you remember, the idea behind this year-long project is to challenge us to live intentionally and in such a way that our actions point others to God… resulting in His PRAISE.

• January’s project – Replacing lies with the TRUTH of who we are.
• February’s project – Learning about God’s active love.
• March’s project – Owning our sin and receiving His forgiveness.
• April’s project – Using our words for good… to bless others.
• June’s project – Making the right choices in life.
• September’s project – Choosing joy.
• October’s project – Taking every thought captive.

November’s project is a reminder to refocus our cluttered calendars on what’s important.  You’re gonna love it.

♦♦♦

By the amazing, Amanda Barnes…

November is upon us which means the end of the year is quickly approaching.  The days keep flying off my calendar faster than the leaves are falling off my trees.

And I am aware… very aware… that Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner.  They are by far my favorite holidays because the offer:

• Familiar traditions
• Yummy food
• Fun celebrations
• Time with family and friends

But I know that with these holidays comes the potential for chaos and madness.  Especially if I don’t get in front of it… now.

So this year – in an attempt to keep a very intentional perspective on God throughout the rest of 2012 - my family has joined me in deciding to put God and family first this year.

We want the holidays to be about the holidays… not about every possible activity and event that we run across.  Even though there are lots of good stuff out there, like school programs, parties, shopping, events, fundraisers, etc.

You see.. all of those thing have the ability to steal our focus. 

And when that happen, we see changes at home.

• Our conversations are interrupted by distractions. 
• We don’t make time for each other.
• We don’t connect with God as a family. 

It’s not how we want things to be.

So, we had a family meeting so we could set expectations for this coming holiday season now rather than find ourselves frustrated later.  And we have declared the month of November as a month of WORSHIP.

We want togetherness in heart and spirit and mind.

We want to be a family who will intentionally PRAISE our God – together.

And we feel that in order to stand strong against the pull of our culture to be all and do all to everyone … we need to be united at home.

• United in what we believe.
• United in who (or what) we will worship.
• United in FAITH in The ONE True GOD.
• United by prayer and worship.
• United by intentionally putting God at the head of our home and dinner table.

So this month, as we prepare to offer thanks with our country, we will offer thanks to God for what we have… today.

The big and little things.

We will Praise God for WHO He is and WHAT He has done for us.

WE will share testimony of HIS GOODness.

We will read scripture chosen by a different family member each day.

We will read the scripture in various translations for deeper understanding.

And we will sing and worship out loud together, offering up PRAISE to God.

Now we realize it might not look Norman Rockwell-ish – but God knows our heart and our intentions.  And we intend to put HIM first.

You see, we want to slow down and simplify life so we can keep our EYES on the PRIZE.

We want to enter into the Christmas season with softer hearts and spirits hungry for JESUS.

And we know if we don’t pause and really look around… we can get caught up in the glitter and glitz of it all.  We can get sucked into the busyness of the season.

I invite you to join us.

• Will you invest in the relationships of those who sleep under your roof?
• Will you offer sacrifices of praise to The God who made you?
• Will you put your family above all of the other voices that will clamor for your attention?
• Will you say no to the requests and ‘demands’ of the world so that as a family you can pause for reflection on what this LIFE is really all about?

This won’t be easy, because saying “no” is hard sometimes.

But we’ve decided we want a simpler version of the holidays.  And as a family, we want to focus on Jesus and each other.

It’s our HOPE that as we draw in close, we’ll end the year with a more refreshed and contented family.

So here’s our plan:

Each day, our family is going to spend time together reading scripture… praying… and worshiping.

We’re going to get back to the basics.

Need scripture ideas?  Check these out:

Psalm 148

1 Chronicles 16:7-36

2 Samuel 22:1-51

Need worship song ideas?  Try these:

Undignified – David Crowder Band

Good Morning – Mandisa

Only One – Jaye Thomas

No One Like Jehovah – Kelanie Gloeckler

He is Faithful – Bryan and Katie Torwalt

All Consuming Fire – Jesus Culture

Holy Ghost Party – Cory Asbury

I Love Your Presence – Bethel Live

The Word of God has Spoken – Travis Cottrell

Wounded One – Davy Flowers

Friends… may you find peace in the journey of intentionally fighting for what matters.  May you be blessed as you press into God’s heart and may you rest in knowing God is pleased with our humble attempts to teach the next generation that nothing matters more… than LOVING God with ALL that is within us.

†††

© 2012 careyscotttalks.com, Amanda Barnes

Check out my resources HERE.

Let’s Connect!  Subscribe to my newsletter, Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me at Moms Together.

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Five Ways to Teach Gratitude

“Thank You!  I love it!”

Those words came out of my son’s mouth when he opened a gift that would never have made his “want” list.  At least in my opinion.

He was so convincing, however, that afterwards I had to ask if he was really that thrilled with the item.

His response was amazing.

“Mom, what I was thankful for was the time and thought that went into getting that gift for me.  They put forth effort for me.  And that made me feel… special.”

How is this kid only… 11?

But when I think about it, I realize he responded in the way we’ve been teaching him to for years. My husband and I have been actively teaching an attitude of gratitude since our kids were babies.

I bet you have, too.

The reality is that as parents, we have SO MUCH to teach our kids.  It’s overwhelming at times, actually.  But of that long list, imparting gratitude is at the top.

At least it should be.

Because we actually have a lot to be thankful for.  Even in the midst of life storms, there are reasons to be… grateful.  We can always find things to appreciate.

But sometimes, it’s an intentional decision…

A choice…

A change in perspective…

An attitude…

A mindset.

And when we teach our kids GRATITUDE, we are setting them up for a bright future.  We teach them to see the cup half full.  We remind them to look for the good.

Here are five ways to instill a thankful heart in your kids.

1. Model It.  Elementary?  Yes.  But we need to remember that our kids watch us.  They do what we do… the good, the bad, the ugly.  Let them hear you say “thanks!” when someone does something nice.  Tell them how grateful you are for God’s provision.

Tell them how thankful you are for… them.

2. Involve Them.  Let your kids help. When you allow them to lend a hand, they’ll feel more thankful.  Why?  Because they will understand there are those less fortunate.  It battles the notion of entitlement.

Maybe they help you bake cookies for an ailing friend or rake leaves for an elderly neighbor.  Maybe they volunteer at a soup kitchen with you.  Regardless, when you include them in blessing others… you are helping to tender their hearts towards thankfulness.

3. Don’t Feed the GIMMEES.  Advertisers get paid the big bucks to make new toys and gadgets irresistible. Their efforts breed a case of the GIMMEES in our kids.  I want… I need… I must have become common phrases.  And as parents, we make it worse because we give into our kids and buy the latest big thing.  But when they get everything they want, their attitude changes from thankful to expectant.

What if we taught our kids the art of… contentment?  Because honestly, a content heart is a thankful heart.  And on top of that, our children need to understand that God is the only One who can truly satisfy.

4. Keep a Blessings Journal. When good things happen in your family… write it down.  When you see God answer prayers… record it.  When you see victory in a past struggle… add it to the journal.

What you’re doing is creating proof that God is active in your lives. You are documenting that His plans are to prosper you.  Your highlighting all the reasons your family has to be thankful.

Nothing is too big to share, and nothing is too small.  So when you or your family is struggling to find that attitude of gratitude, open the journal to remind yourselves.

5.  Pray It.  God tells us in Colossians 3:17 to give thanks to God. While you may be thanking God all day long for His hand in your life, make a point to end the day by recognizing all the ways you are thankful as a family.

♥

The idea is to make thankfulness a normal way of thinking.  We want this approach to life become part of our DNA and the DNA of our kids, too.

And we do that by being intentional to make gratitude a normal part of our days.

Sisters… what if we made thankfulness a 24/7/365 habit?

It will leave a powerful imprint on your kids… and maybe change your heart in the process.

REALITY CHECK:  God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say “thank you?”

†††

© 2012 careyscotttalks.com

Check out my resources HERE.

Let’s Connect! Subscribe to my newsletter, Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me at Moms Together.

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BULLYING: What to do when it affects your kids

“Mom, I can’t keep it together any longer.”

These words from my 9-year-old son were his way of telling me he could no longer handle the bullying situation at school.

Now, we were aware that Sam had been dealing with “mean boys” and we’d had several meetings discussing this with his teacher and the principal.  We just didn’t know how bad it had gotten.

Sam didn’t share with us the reality of what was happening, even though…

• We are very intentional parents.
• We invest a tremendous amount of time and energy in our kids.
• We love Sam and Sara fiercely… and they know it.

Later, he admitted that he didn’t share because he didn’t want to worry us.  And because of the bully’s threat of retribution… he kept the pain and fear to himself even when we continued to ask key questions.

But slowly, however, we noticed changes that let us know something was definitely wrong.

His sleeping and eating patterns were different.

He broke out in an itchy rash.

His grades began to drop.

Sam’s handwriting got sloppy.

And he even told a few trusted adults that he wanted to commit suicide.

I can barely type those words.

We jumped into action.  We changed schools, got him into counseling, and had difficult conversations with the bully’s mom, the school and the district’s administration.

The more we learned about what our son endured… the physical taunting and verbal threats… the more our hearts broke for our son (and the angrier we got).

With the help of professionals, we worked through the damaging effects of the bullying as a family.

We took comfort in knowing we served a big God who loved our son more than we could ever imagine… and He specializes in restoration.

Sisters, I know this is a heavy issue. 

This may not be a particularly fun read, but I bet there are many of you facing this same issue with your kids.  And since our goal is to raise Godly kids, we need to be aware of the Enemy’s plans to come against our children through… bullying.

We need to know what to look for… and what to do if we see it.

Bullying is defined as:  “A person being exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and having difficulty defending himself or herself.”   And the category of “negative actions” covers a lot, like:

• Verbal bullying, including derogatory comments and bad names
• Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
• Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
• Bullying through lies and false rumors
• Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
• Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
• Racial, sexual or cyber (cell phone or Internet) bullying

… This is a far cry from how God wants us to treat one another. 

Ephesians 4:29 says “Don’t say anything that would hurt [another person]. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.”

What Sam heard did not help him.  Instead, he was deeply wounded as this bully spoke nothing but evil over him.

So what do we do as Christ-following parents?

Here are some things to establish now, before your children experience a bully.

• Encourage your children.  Hug them.  Spend time with them.
• Pray with them, asking God to protect them from bullying and for courage to tell if they experience it themselves or see it happening to others.
• Share with them what the Bible says about how to treat others (Google “scripture on encouraging others”).
• Role play strategies with your children so they know how to respond if a situation arises.

Here are some things to do if you believe your child is being bullied already.

• Watch for warning signs such as depression, low self-esteem, health problems, poor grades and suicidal thoughts.
• Be a relentless advocate for your child by intervening if you notice a change.  Ask their teachers and principal for intervention and be persistent.  Talk to the bully’s parents.
• Ask your child about it.  Find creative ways to engage them in talking about bullying in general and their thoughts on it.  Ask if they know anyone who is being bullied in their class or school.
• Change schools or environments, if necessary.
• Enlist a Christian counselor to help work through the experiences.

Well, my courageous, compassionate, loving, sweet Sam continues to heal.  He gets stronger every day, because we are intentional to pour into him… support him… love on him… pray over him… and we are always watching for warning signs or changes in who he is or how he acts.

And we see God all over this…

Sisters, we can’t afford to sweep this issue under the table.  It is real.  It is serious.  And bullying is on the increase.

My candid advice?

Be available so they will reach out.

Build a strong bond within your family. 

Let your kids know that you have their back.

Listen to what your kids say (and what they don’t).

Teach them when it’s okay to, and how to defend themselves.

Take your kids seriously when they share fears, concerns or worries.

And don’t tolerate bullying on any level… at any time… no matter what.

†††

© 2012 careyscotttalks.com

Looking for ideas on raising Godly kids in today’s world?  You can find them HERE.

Let’s Connect!  Subscribe to my newsletter, Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me at Moms Together.

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THE PRISON OF PERFECTONISM: I’ll Never Be a Good Mom

This is week three of the Prison of Perfectionism series.  Our goal is to unsubscribe from the world’s lies that we are not good enough and begin to believe the truth that we don’t have to strive to be perfect.

Because… it’s unattainable.

If you missed the introduction to the series, you can find it here.

The second week’s entry on “I’m Not Good Enough” is here.

Let’s jump into week three….

♥♥♥

Yesterday I lost it with my kids.

We’ve been in the process of remodeling our home and so I’ve been knee-deep in dust and chaos for several weeks.  The truth is that this momma likes order.

And this process has been anything but… order.

While I can tolerate a certain level of dirt… and even though I can handle a few piles of clutter… I do have a limit.

And it’s been reached. 

So when I discovered clothes stuffed in Sam’s closet and nail polish on Sara’s new white leggings, my anger made an unscheduled appearance.

Ugh.

I hate when that happens.

So do my kids.

I am so NOT a perfect mom.  Ehem… um… Neither are you.

But it’s no surprise that…

With all the demands for our time and energy…

with all the organization it takes to run a home…

with all the pressure to have the answers…

we struggle to feel adequate as moms.

We begin to compare ourselves to our friends who make it look so easy.

We see those TV moms who are cool and fun and never seem to get their feathers ruffled.

We get frustrated that those parenting books and classes don’t stick.

And we forget to give ourselves grace to be… Imperfect.  We think we are “less than” because we are… Flawed.

We struggle with the fact that we are so human in our parenting.

We want to be so much more…

more understanding…

more gracious…

more loving…

more compassionate…

And so much more appreciative of the gift God has given us in our children.

Psalm 127:3 in the Message tells us that our children are just that… they are gifts.  It says this… “Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy?”

God’s best gift.

This tells us how very much He loves and cares for our kids.  It shows us how much they mean to Him.  We can trust that He wants the very best for them.

And since our children are priceless in His eyes, we can believe that He’s very intentional in whom He gives each of His “best gifts.”

So for me… that means that of every mom that was to live and breathe on planet Earth, God chose to give Sam and Sara to… ME.

And even knowing my flaws and struggles and challenges, He gave them to me… anyway.  He chose me.  He decided I was the right mom for the job.

I have God’s vote of confidence. 

You know what?  You have His vote, too.

It’s no accident that you are mom to your children… whether yours by birth or adoption.  God knew you were the best mother for them.

Regardless of your blemished past or tarnished present, He picked… you.

Knowing this truth should set us free from the prison of perfectionism as moms.

Why?

Because we now realize that God isn’t expecting perfect parents. 

He is expecting purposeful ones.

He’s wants prayerful ones. 

He’s hoping for pliable ones.

I can be that kind of mom.

So can you.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be a perfect mom.  You will never make textbook decisions in raising your kids.  Your ability to teach your kids won’t be seamless.

And knowing all that… God chose you, anyway.

♥

REALITY CHECK:  God chose YOU to be the mom to your kids… stumbles, fumbles and all.

†††

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

In the trenches of motherhood and looking for inspiration?

Find my Raising Godly Kids devotional book here.

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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The Matthew 5:16 Project – Choices

Welcome to June!

Amanda has prepared a great Matthew 5:16 Project for us this month.  The idea behind this year-long project is to challenge us to live intentionally and in such a way that our actions point others to God… resulting in His PRAISE. 

January’s project

Called us to replace those old lies with the TRUTH of who God says we are.

February’s project

Taught us what God says about love, and to show it as a noun and a verb.

March’s project

Encouraged us to own our sin and receive the forgiveness we are freely given.

April’s project

Reminded us to use our words for good… to bless others.

Let’s see what June’s challenge is…

♦♦♦

By my good friend, Amanda Barnes…

Well God’s been talking lots to me lately about C H O I C E S.

And so it goes that I have also been talking lots to my kiddos about the same.  In fact, my eighth grader just gave his valedictorian speech on learning from mistakes – and how you can take the field trip or read the manual – it’s your… choice.

As the idea and topic grows between me and God, it becomes simpler yet it’s long and deep and broad.

Our entire life… one day, one hour, one minute at a time… is made up of choices.   It’s a choice to learn, to quit, to fight, to obey, to love, to forgive, to try, to fear, to trust, and on it goes.

• what we eat – what we don’t
• what we say – what we won’t
• when we sleep – when we don’t
• where we go – where we don’t
• who we hang with – who we won’t

It’s not always easy to make good choices – and sometimes we struggle to know what the right or best choice even is.

As a grown up I have so much to learn, and I’m try to teach that to my kids, too.  I’m trying to offer them the manual, but sometimes – like me – they prefer the field trip.  And sometimes it hurts more.  Sometimes it’s the only way, but always a choice and always with opportunity for growth and maturity.

A character motto at their school is:  Failure leads to success. 

So if that is ever going to work, then failure is clearly part of the equation.  And if failure is part of the equation then I need to allow room for mistakes and also ownership, trial and error, humanness.

Okay then.

With almost two full weeks of summer break under our belts, one area that I am choosing to release into the hands of my kids is their nutrition.

I’m taking the risk that they might make some mistakes… they already have… and trusting that as we venture into summer, the kids will grow in ownership as they handle and probably mishandle their food choices.

In addition to their daily chores, my kids are now also responsible for monitoring what they put into their bodies.  They have all been trained in their classes at school what is an appropriate serving size.

They know they need more veggies and fruits – always.

So I created a chart that has the major food groups and sugar categories going across the top and meal and snack times down the side.

There is also a row that captures how many glasses of water they have had – they simply check off one box per glass and calculate what their next beverage should be.

We placed the sheet inside a protective sleeve so that the kids can use a whiteboard erasable pen and use and reuse the chart.

Each time they want to eat something, they look at their chart and see what they’ve already consumed for the day and make a choice about what foods would be best for them.

The deal at the start was that they would eat only a few sugars a day and focus in on the healthier foods.  Of course I am overseeing this and providing the healthy options so they are set up for success.

And, I am still providing the evening meal, so all they do is mark that one on their charts.

But as their lives get busier, I need to let some choices go so that I can focus in on different ones.

For the most part, they are making smart choices. 

They are asking me before they indulge in sweets. 

They are noticing daily what they are really eating and what they should be.

I’ve seen them eat more carrots, more nuts, and cook eggs almost every day. 

They’re not only learning dietary choices, but also food preparation.  

It feels like freedom to me… less to think about in some ways.  And it’s stretching their boundaries and responsibility.

This is something they’ve got to own.  In the end, they are the only ones truly in control of their bodies.

I want them to feel the satisfaction that comes from making good choices.

What if your kids are younger?  How about letting them help plan the meals and snacks one day or one week at a time?  Get the kids a chart with pictures so they can still take steps towards owning food choices.

Each time we put food to our mouth, let’s make sure we choose to also focus in on our Spiritual food… because the WORD of God is the only thing that truly satisfies.

Let’s be sure that as we gather to share meals, we aren’t only satisfied physically – but more importantly spiritually. 

Let’s make sure that we are not eating crumbs or too many leftovers. 

Let’s be sure to get us some fresh Words, some fresh fruit, some meat and potatoes of Truth. 

Let’s ponder deep and Life eternal as we feast on His Word – the only way we will be filled up and contented. 

Let’s offer thanks for the Bread of Life – Jesus – a remembrance of His body broken for our brokenness. 

Let’s gather fresh manna daily, it’s waiting for us and is always enough. 

All of these might be great dinner time conversations.  As we make choices to fill our physical needs, let’s discuss what our souls long for, too.

Let’s ask God:

• to shape our appetites
• to strengthen our resolve
• to increase our faithfulness
• to give us fresh perspective
• to change our habits
• to LOVE Him more…

This summer it’s all about C H O I C E S – and beginning with our food, as often as we eat, in Spirit and in Truth, we will serve the Lord.

†††

©2012 careyscotttalks.com, Amanda Barnes

In the trenches of motherhood and looking for inspiration?

Find my Raising Godly Kids devotional book here.

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Teaching Your Kids to Pray

My son, Sam, was praying the same old prayer again.

“Dear God, thank you for the wonderful, wonderful day we had today and let us have a wonderful, wonderful day tomorrow.  Thank you for all the wonderful things you made for us…”

Now I love that he prays.

I love that he thanks God for “wonderful” things.

But it was obvious that his heart wasn’t in it.

“Sam… why not pray about the things that happened today or the friends that need prayer for sickness or sadness?  Why not ask God to help you with things that you need to work on?  Maybe dig a bit deeper.  Make your time with God count!”

He looked at me and said the most profound thing. “Mom, it’s like eating new, fresh cookies.”

I waited trying to see where this possible rabbit trail was going.

He talked about how if we eat the same cookies over and over again, they get old and boring.  When this happens, we end up eating them anyway because we’ve grown used to them.

“But,” he said, “We should eat new and fresh cookies every day.” 

I sat there staring at him, because he… just… got… it!

“That’s like prayer, mom.  We should say new and fresh prayers to God so they don’t become something stale that we say everyday out of habit.” 

Wow… did that really just come out of my son’s mouth?

I wonder… What are your kid’s prayers like?

• Are they reciting the same prayers over and over again?
• Do they rush through them like they’re a chore?
• Do they pray with little passion or emotion?
• Are their prayers becoming routine and stale?

Maybe it’s time to breathe new life into their prayers.

Here are some suggestions to help your children have an exciting and fulfilling prayer life:

• Model it for them.  When you pray, show them how to do it.
• Talk about things they could cover in prayer so they’re praying about current situations (issues with friendships, sick classmates, upcoming tests, etc.)
• Change your prayer position.  Maybe start praying on your knees or holding hands.
• Find some appropriate scripture you can pray together over a situation.
• Teach your kids that talking to God throughout the day is prayer, too!
• Remind them there is nothing they can’t talk to Him about.
• In your own prayer time, ask God to establish a strong prayer life in your kids.

Let’s encourage our children to give God new and fresh cookies every day.

†††

REALITY CHECK:  Help establish your children’s prayer life. Teach them how to pray, when to pray and why to pray.

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Today devotional taken from my book “Raising Godly Kids.”  Buy on Amazon today!

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together.”

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My Book is Available On Kindle!

I am excited to announce that my devotional book

“Raising Godly Kids”

is now available for purchase on Kindle!

Anyone can be a parent, but being a Godly parent takes intentionality.

Of all the people in the world, God chose YOU to raise your children.

He trusts you to love them… teach them… and pray for them.

The devotions in this book will help you in your journey to raise kids who love God, and see Him in their everyday lives.

I pray it blesses you, your kids, and generations to come!

You can purchase it on Amazon by clicking here. 

It will be in print early April, and available for purchase through my blog and website.  Watch for details! 

Would you please consider passing this along to others who might enjoy this book?

†††

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Perfect Kids

Are you raising your kids to be… perfect?

Are you teaching them that mistakes are… unforgivable?

Are your kids scared to tell you when they… mess up?

When they miss the mark, does their offense carry a great… penalty?

Be careful.

Our job as parents isn’t to raise perfect people.

It’s to teach and train our kids to be respectful, compassionate, caring, mindful, engaging, healthy, Godly, and honest adults.

Raising a “perfectionist” is a dangerous game. 

Why?

Because in their minds, they will never be good enough.  And on top of that, nothing will ever be good enough for them.

That breeds discontentment.

Discontentment leads to a lifelong pursuit of a happiness they will never attain… or sustain.

I want my kids to know that everyone and everything in life is imperfect.

I want them to have realistic expectations of themselves and others.  I want them to know that true happiness isn’t something the world can (or should) give them.

Do I expect honest effort?

Yes!

Do I ask them to go the extra mile in certain areas?

Most definitely.

Do I promote or allow the easy way out or laziness?

No way.

Do we set goals and push our kids from their comfort zones?

Of course.

Do my kids receive rewards and consequences accordingly?

Without a doubt.

But… my husband and I are very intentional in making our family a place for grace, acceptance and forgiveness.

We are okay with messing up.

We want our kids to fail while under our roof so we can walk them through it, teaching them that failure is just a part of life and not the end of the world.

They need to know it doesn’t define them.

We want them to understand that true happiness … true identity… true acceptance can only be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Not in the world.

They need to know that while the world will never be happy with…

• who they are,
• what they look like,
• the amount of money they make,
• the career they choose,
• the friends they keep… 

God will.

God is.

And because God is happy with them, our kids can be happy with themselves… too.

They can adopt a healthy self-esteem that has nothing to do with the world’s standard of… perfection.

The goal being that our children will see themselves as God sees them.

“I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.”  Psalms 139:14

Sisters, teaching our kids to be perfect sets them up to struggle in life.

As parents trying to raise Godly kids… be careful not to teach it, model it, or expect it.

Instead… let’s purpose to impart grace, acceptance, and love.

Always.

†††

REALITY CHECK:  When you expect your kids to be perfect, you’re setting them up to fail.

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Hard Lessons

It’s hard to watch your kids struggle.

Sometimes you have to jump in and fix it for them… but sometimes you have to stand back and watch them figure it out.

Ugh.

We are dealing with one of those “stand back” times right now, and it’s not fun.

But as parents trying to raise Godly kids…

• We have to allow them to mess up. 
• We must bite our tongue as we watch them make decisions that could backfire.
• We need to give them the freedom to try and fail.

If we don’t… how will they learn?

I’m sharing the details of our struggle at CWAHM today.

I wonder if you’ve dealt with something like this, too.  Why not come visit me and share your experience.

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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Making It Your Own

Gift-giving.  Decorating.  Advent calendars.  Santa.

There are so many different camps you can land in when it comes to celebrating Christmas.  Just with gift-giving…

• Some set an equal budget for each child.
• Others give gifts generously.
• Several give just three gifts because that’s what the wise men did.
• A few give no gifts at all.
• Others stick to the four-gift rule: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.
• Still some give one gift to charity for every gift they buy their kids.

It makes me wonder if there is a wrong way and a right way to approach giving gifts to your kids.  Are you spoiling your kids if they get too many… or is it a form of child-abuse if you don’t give enough?

How do you know?

With so many different ways to celebrate, do you ever feel like you have to “explain” your rationale as to which camp you subscribe?  Is there guilt attached to your decision?  What about pride?

Can you keep Jesus at the center and still give generously or hang lights?  Are you wrecking your kids if you don’t find time to serve in a soup kitchen?

Are you missing the boat if you don’t do an advent calendar?  Is one better than another?

Are you able to acknowledge Santa without criticism?  Or do others judge you because you choose to be honest about the man in the red suit?

Ugh.  All the talk of rights and wrongs drives me nuts.

Well for what it’s worth, I think…

Wanna read the rest? 

Come visit me at CWAHM today where I give my simple response to it all.  And I’d love to hear your thoughts, too.

Hope to see you!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

Read Full Post »