SURRENDERED WIFE: A Woman Revealed

I’m beginning to see glimpses of a more healthy marriage… and I am expectant on many levels.

• Wayne is more willing to step forward because I’ve been more willing to step back.
• I don’t have to bite my tongue or look the other way as much these days.
• Letting him handle more duties in the family is starting to feel more natural.
• I’m not as much of a control-freak as before this journey.
• God is showing me His heart for Wayne.

Are you seeing the same in your home?

At this point, we should be noticing some changes in both roles – husband and wife.  There should be some new patterns developing.

If this hasn’t been your experience, ask God to reveal why not.  Since He authored marriage, He’ll gladly show you.

Maybe you are late to the party and need to catch up on our quest to become surrendered wives.  If so, here’s a quick list for you.

Over the past few weeks…

We’ve looked at why we need to surrender.

We have discussed how important it is to respect our husbands.

We’ve talked about the negative effect of our controlling nature.

We have determined that surrendering is a heart issue.

We’ve heard from a man’s perspective.

We have recognized the vital role our girlfriends play in keeping our sanity.

I wonder what’s been the most challenging area for you to surrender.  I’m curious to know where you’ve run into the most difficulty in changing behaviors or thoughts.  Have there been revelations through this process that have caught you off guard?

You know what’s been the hardest part for me?

ME.

I’ve been a little surprised by what God has exposed in me through this surrendering process.  Did I really think this was going to be… easy?  Painless?  Quick?

Yes… and sometimes being an optimist is irritating.

To be honest, had I known just how intense this journey was going to be, I might not have chosen it.

If I’d realized beforehand how much this would require of me, I would have thought twice about it.

God totally knew that.

I truly believe that His plan - from the beginning – was for me to face some of my own… stuff.

It’s been a divine “set up.”

But knowing His plans are always to prosper me… to free me… to heal me… to restore me… I trust I’m in good hands.

God’s revealed some issues that need attention.

He has shown me areas of unforgiveness.

He’s opened my eyes to some relational dysfunction.

He has uncovered some old wounds that need healing.

Why?

Because God wants me to be wholehearted.

He wants me to be… genuine… unreserved… and complete.

• In my life
• In my marriage
• In my parenting
• In my friendships
• In my ministry

He wants the same for you, too.  

God loves you too much to leave you where you are, because He created you for more life than you’re living right now.

So when we open ourselves up to the idea of being transformed – like we’re doing in this journey to surrender to our husbands – He takes that as a go-ahead to renew us.

He uses the opportunity to make us whole.

Fellow travelers… the process of aligning my role as wife with His design for my marriage is so much more involved than I ever imagined it to be.  It’s been a…

• habit-changer
• attitude-adjuster
• role-reverser
• mind-renewer
• heart-transformer
• trust-builder
• wound-healer
• past-forgiver
• hope-grower

But… all those great things require a lot of hard work, humility, forgiveness and introspection.

Not. Easy.

Are you finding your walk to be the same?

When I’ve been discouraged in the process, the Old Testament book of Habakkuk has brought me comfort… because this prophet wasn’t afraid to ask God the hard questions.

And when he did ask God how and why and when… God answered him.

He boldly and confidently took his complaints, frustrations, confusion, and thoughts directly to God.

His experiences remind me to do the same… and to then expect answers.

As God’s been gently revealing stumbling blocks in my ability to surrender, I’ve asked Him tough questions in response.

• God, where were you in that situation?
• Why did you allow those hardships?
• Why was it okay then but not now?
• How was that part of your plan?
• Where do I go from here?

I’ve asked in anger… in tears… in humility… in thanksgiving.

And God has answered me.

We’ve been working it out.

I’ve been given precious insight, helping me understanding my need to control. 

God’s been healing those places that have kept me from fully trusting others.

He’s gloriously restoring my joy.

I’m becoming wholehearted.

And slowly but surely… I am growing into the Godly wife He designed me to be.

But the most important thing I’ve learned through this journey has been a deeply profound truth:

An essential part of being able to surrender to your husband… is to first surrender to God… and allowing Him restore you to who you were created to be.

So sisters… what is God revealing to YOU about YOU?

†††

REALITY CHECK:  When you open yourself up to be transformed, expect God to be the first in line.  

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

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Mustard Seed Faith

I saw her at the elementary school’s field day.

This was the mom of the boy who had bullied my son so relentlessly that we had to change schools mid-year.  If you missed my post about it, click here.

Seeing her caught me off guard enough that my eyes filled with tears.

They weren’t tears of anger.  I had already forgiven her, realizing she’s just a mom trying to do the best she can… just like me.  The tears were not tears of regret as the change of schools has been life-giving for Sam and a better fit for him long-term.

Instead, they were momma-tears for my son and all he’d been through.

And then it happened.

I felt God prompting me to go talk to her.  “No way, God,” I said under my breath.  “Not a chance.  What would I even say?”  But that nagging feeling persisted and even more frustrating, the opportunity kept presenting itself.

How annoying!  I just wanted to watch my 2nd grader win the sack race and balloon toss.  But I’ve learned that when God moves, it’s best if I do, too.

In the midst of listing off a million reasons not to approach her, this scripture came to mind.

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”  (Matthew 17:20)

Gulp.

With my mustard seed faith that God would give me the words, I walked up to this woman and introduced myself.

To my surprise and dismay, she had no idea what had transpired between our two boys.  She didn’t know that Sam was no longer at that school.  No one had filled her in on the words and actions her son had tormented my son with.

Awkward.

But God moved in that moment!

Miraculously, our hearts were tendered towards each others situation.  God opened my eyes to the difficulties she faced with her son’s anger and his special need.  And God allowed me to share the truth of what happened without her becoming defensive or angry.

God healed a little of my heart… and I bet He did the same for her.

Through our conversation, we discovered some inconsistencies from the school’s leadership.  We realized that both of our boys were victims in their own ways.  An unsettling case of dishonesty from the administration was uncovered.

And in that moment, we found ourselves on the same side of the fence.

You see, that mustard seed of faith was all I needed to make a mountain move.

Had I not trusted God and obeyed His gentle prodding to step out of my comfort zone and into His will…

• the deeper issues would have never been uncovered
• my wounded heart would have taken longer to heal
• the truth would have remained buried and hidden
• Sam’s voice wouldn’t have been heard so clearly
• justice wouldn’t have been served

Sisters, God is in the details… always.  Even when we can’t see Him in it, we need to know that we know that we know that He is working all things for good on our behalf.

And when we chose to have that mustard seed sized faith, we get a front row seat to watch Him in action.

God moved a mountain for me.

And now I’m trusting Him to move one on behalf of my son.

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

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Relentless Pursuit of Healing

I’m in a relentless pursuit of healing.

This has been a long time coming.  God has brought it to my attention so often.  I’ve had many people unknowingly make me painfully aware of the need to be free.

I’m done.  It’s time.

And I know God will faithfully heal me if I relentlessly pursue it.  How do I know this? Because He is a God of restoration and scripture speaks of it often.

Psalm 30:2 is a great example of His willingness to step in and pull us out of our weaknesses, wounding and wallowing.  It reads “O LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you healed me.”

Here’s what I love about this passage… when the psalmist cried for God to intervene and heal, He did.  And since our God is unchanging and consistent, He will do that for us too.

But we have a part in it.

• We have to be active participants.
• We have to desire it enough to ask for it.
• We need to be vulnerable to others.
• We need to be willing to open ourselves up to receive it.
• We have to trust the process.

Scary.  Terrifying.  Humbling.  Necessary.

Let’s get this party started.

Here’s is my suggestion on walking the path to healing.  Maybe this will work for you.

1. Begin by journaling about the issue that’s keeping you in bondage
2. Pray, pray, pray for God to open your eyes wider to the issue and to show you what it’s cost to hold on to it or buy into it.
3. Find a friend or two who can cover you and your process in prayer.
4. Find scripture that directly speaks to you about your struggle (google “scripture on _____”)
5. Continue to journal what God shows you or what He reveals through your friends.

I’m not guaranteeing a quick fix.  I cannot promise an easy road.  No one can do this for you.

It’s about you and God.

Sisters, I’m crying out to God to deliver me from my struggle with value and worth!  It’s deep, dark and deceptive.  It’s held me captive for as long as I can remember.  It’s wrapped around so many areas in my life.

I’m done with it.

Will you join me?  Do you feel comfortable enough to leave a comment below and “out” the Enemy, if you will?  Uncover his destructive plans in your life?  Maybe you simply reply, “I’m in!“

Friends, it’s time to live the life God wants for us!  Be the person He designed us to be. The Enemy’s free reign in that area of our lives needs to end and he needs to be put in his place.

Let’s relentlessly pursue healing.  Who’s with me?

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

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When God Shows Up

Oh, I’ve been so excited to share the news with you.  God showed up HUGE this week!

• Remember me sharing about the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference in North Carolina this July for speakers and writers ?
• Remember how I told you it was the premier training ground for women called into ministry?
• Remember when I asked your prayerfully consider supporting me through a tax deductible donation?

Well, I am so humbled and so grateful to share that God dramatically intersected my life in a ginormous way.   Thanks to a very generous friend, my registration fee almost completely covered!

When this news came through my email, I broke into tears and called my mom. (We never get too old to need our moms, do we?)

After I hung up with her, I started to wonder… Just why did this blessing surprise me?  I mean, when I look at my life I see His fingerprints are all over it.

The truth is, God has always shown up.

Sisters, when we step out in His will, He blesses us by providing all we need for our calling.  He makes things happen.  He opens doors.  He prepares our hearts.  He covers us.  He moves others.

Our loving Father has such an eye for detail.  Nothing misses His gaze.

Oh how I’ve seen Him intersect my crazy, drama-filled, broken, exhausting life a million times!

• When my marriage was at divorce’s doorstep… God redeemed it!
• When I was diagnosed with a rare ovarian cancer… God healed me!
• When a bully was causing my son to melt into a mess… God restored him!
• When my husband’s job was causing unhealthy stress… God fixed it!
• When I stepped out in faith and signed up for the conference without the financial means… God provided it!

Friends… God.  Loves.  Us.  And because of that, He always shows up.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 “God will make this happen, for He who calls you is faithful.”

This verse explains that regardless of the call, you can step out knowing God will give you what you need every time.  Why?  Because He is always faithful.

Always.

So you know what?  I’m publically endorsing God.  You cannot go wrong when you intentionally choose to follow His prompting in your life.

Friends, I want to encourage you to:

• Go where He leads you.
  
• Move where He moves you.
  
• Stay if He wants you to stay put.
  
• Fight if He wants you in battle-mode.
  
• Speak out if He wants you to share His words.
• Reconcile if He wants you to forgive.
• Support if He prompts you to give.
  

And here’s a bonus.  When you obey God – He blesses you!

God’s economy rocks.

I’m so excited to be able to attend the She Speaks conference this July!  And to the friend who answered His prompting to help make that happen for me, I pray huge blessings on your life.

And I know it will happen… because God always shows up!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

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