THE PRISON OF PERFECTONISM: I’ll Never Be a Good Mom

This is week three of the Prison of Perfectionism series.  Our goal is to unsubscribe from the world’s lies that we are not good enough and begin to believe the truth that we don’t have to strive to be perfect.

Because… it’s unattainable.

If you missed the introduction to the series, you can find it here.

The second week’s entry on “I’m Not Good Enough” is here.

Let’s jump into week three….

♥♥♥

Yesterday I lost it with my kids.

We’ve been in the process of remodeling our home and so I’ve been knee-deep in dust and chaos for several weeks.  The truth is that this momma likes order.

And this process has been anything but… order.

While I can tolerate a certain level of dirt… and even though I can handle a few piles of clutter… I do have a limit.

And it’s been reached. 

So when I discovered clothes stuffed in Sam’s closet and nail polish on Sara’s new white leggings, my anger made an unscheduled appearance.

Ugh.

I hate when that happens.

So do my kids.

I am so NOT a perfect mom.  Ehem… um… Neither are you.

But it’s no surprise that…

With all the demands for our time and energy…

with all the organization it takes to run a home…

with all the pressure to have the answers…

we struggle to feel adequate as moms.

We begin to compare ourselves to our friends who make it look so easy.

We see those TV moms who are cool and fun and never seem to get their feathers ruffled.

We get frustrated that those parenting books and classes don’t stick.

And we forget to give ourselves grace to be… Imperfect.  We think we are “less than” because we are… Flawed.

We struggle with the fact that we are so human in our parenting.

We want to be so much more…

more understanding…

more gracious…

more loving…

more compassionate…

And so much more appreciative of the gift God has given us in our children.

Psalm 127:3 in the Message tells us that our children are just that… they are gifts.  It says this… “Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy?”

God’s best gift.

This tells us how very much He loves and cares for our kids.  It shows us how much they mean to Him.  We can trust that He wants the very best for them.

And since our children are priceless in His eyes, we can believe that He’s very intentional in whom He gives each of His “best gifts.”

So for me… that means that of every mom that was to live and breathe on planet Earth, God chose to give Sam and Sara to… ME.

And even knowing my flaws and struggles and challenges, He gave them to me… anyway.  He chose me.  He decided I was the right mom for the job.

I have God’s vote of confidence. 

You know what?  You have His vote, too.

It’s no accident that you are mom to your children… whether yours by birth or adoption.  God knew you were the best mother for them.

Regardless of your blemished past or tarnished present, He picked… you.

Knowing this truth should set us free from the prison of perfectionism as moms.

Why?

Because we now realize that God isn’t expecting perfect parents. 

He is expecting purposeful ones.

He’s wants prayerful ones. 

He’s hoping for pliable ones.

I can be that kind of mom.

So can you.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be a perfect mom.  You will never make textbook decisions in raising your kids.  Your ability to teach your kids won’t be seamless.

And knowing all that… God chose you, anyway.

♥

REALITY CHECK:  God chose YOU to be the mom to your kids… stumbles, fumbles and all.

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©2012 careyscotttalks.com

In the trenches of motherhood and looking for inspiration?

Find my Raising Godly Kids devotional book here.

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Ministry Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Teaching Your Kids to Pray

My son, Sam, was praying the same old prayer again.

“Dear God, thank you for the wonderful, wonderful day we had today and let us have a wonderful, wonderful day tomorrow.  Thank you for all the wonderful things you made for us…”

Now I love that he prays.

I love that he thanks God for “wonderful” things.

But it was obvious that his heart wasn’t in it.

“Sam… why not pray about the things that happened today or the friends that need prayer for sickness or sadness?  Why not ask God to help you with things that you need to work on?  Maybe dig a bit deeper.  Make your time with God count!”

He looked at me and said the most profound thing. “Mom, it’s like eating new, fresh cookies.”

I waited trying to see where this possible rabbit trail was going.

He talked about how if we eat the same cookies over and over again, they get old and boring.  When this happens, we end up eating them anyway because we’ve grown used to them.

“But,” he said, “We should eat new and fresh cookies every day.” 

I sat there staring at him, because he… just… got… it!

“That’s like prayer, mom.  We should say new and fresh prayers to God so they don’t become something stale that we say everyday out of habit.” 

Wow… did that really just come out of my son’s mouth?

I wonder… What are your kid’s prayers like?

• Are they reciting the same prayers over and over again?
• Do they rush through them like they’re a chore?
• Do they pray with little passion or emotion?
• Are their prayers becoming routine and stale?

Maybe it’s time to breathe new life into their prayers.

Here are some suggestions to help your children have an exciting and fulfilling prayer life:

• Model it for them.  When you pray, show them how to do it.
• Talk about things they could cover in prayer so they’re praying about current situations (issues with friendships, sick classmates, upcoming tests, etc.)
• Change your prayer position.  Maybe start praying on your knees or holding hands.
• Find some appropriate scripture you can pray together over a situation.
• Teach your kids that talking to God throughout the day is prayer, too!
• Remind them there is nothing they can’t talk to Him about.
• In your own prayer time, ask God to establish a strong prayer life in your kids.

Let’s encourage our children to give God new and fresh cookies every day.

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REALITY CHECK:  Help establish your children’s prayer life. Teach them how to pray, when to pray and why to pray.

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Today devotional taken from my book “Raising Godly Kids.”  Buy on Amazon today!

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together.”

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My Book is Available On Kindle!

I am excited to announce that my devotional book

“Raising Godly Kids”

is now available for purchase on Kindle!

Anyone can be a parent, but being a Godly parent takes intentionality.

Of all the people in the world, God chose YOU to raise your children.

He trusts you to love them… teach them… and pray for them.

The devotions in this book will help you in your journey to raise kids who love God, and see Him in their everyday lives.

I pray it blesses you, your kids, and generations to come!

You can purchase it on Amazon by clicking here. 

It will be in print early April, and available for purchase through my blog and website.  Watch for details! 

Would you please consider passing this along to others who might enjoy this book?

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©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Hard Lessons

It’s hard to watch your kids struggle.

Sometimes you have to jump in and fix it for them… but sometimes you have to stand back and watch them figure it out.

Ugh.

We are dealing with one of those “stand back” times right now, and it’s not fun.

But as parents trying to raise Godly kids…

• We have to allow them to mess up. 
• We must bite our tongue as we watch them make decisions that could backfire.
• We need to give them the freedom to try and fail.

If we don’t… how will they learn?

I’m sharing the details of our struggle at CWAHM today.

I wonder if you’ve dealt with something like this, too.  Why not come visit me and share your experience.

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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Making It Your Own

Gift-giving.  Decorating.  Advent calendars.  Santa.

There are so many different camps you can land in when it comes to celebrating Christmas.  Just with gift-giving…

• Some set an equal budget for each child.
• Others give gifts generously.
• Several give just three gifts because that’s what the wise men did.
• A few give no gifts at all.
• Others stick to the four-gift rule: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.
• Still some give one gift to charity for every gift they buy their kids.

It makes me wonder if there is a wrong way and a right way to approach giving gifts to your kids.  Are you spoiling your kids if they get too many… or is it a form of child-abuse if you don’t give enough?

How do you know?

With so many different ways to celebrate, do you ever feel like you have to “explain” your rationale as to which camp you subscribe?  Is there guilt attached to your decision?  What about pride?

Can you keep Jesus at the center and still give generously or hang lights?  Are you wrecking your kids if you don’t find time to serve in a soup kitchen?

Are you missing the boat if you don’t do an advent calendar?  Is one better than another?

Are you able to acknowledge Santa without criticism?  Or do others judge you because you choose to be honest about the man in the red suit?

Ugh.  All the talk of rights and wrongs drives me nuts.

Well for what it’s worth, I think…

Wanna read the rest? 

Come visit me at CWAHM today where I give my simple response to it all.  And I’d love to hear your thoughts, too.

Hope to see you!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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He Really Is

This time of year is unmatched for me.

I love it all… and so do my kids.

But the real challenge comes in trying to keep Jesus at the center of our celebration.  It’s easy to subscribe to the world’s idea of Christmas.

Because to be honest, it’s not all that bad.

It’s fun to decorate the tree.  We love the holiday music and movies.  There’s ample family (and friend) time.

The smells…

The sights…

The sales…

But… they don’t always point to Jesus.

So as parents, we need to be intentional in reminding our children that this holiday celebration is a remembrance of the first Christmas.

We need to make sure Jesus really is the reason.

At CWAHM today, I’m sharing some ways to do just that.  Whether you are looking for ideas yourself or have some to share, I’d love to hear from you!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

Read Full Post »