The Matthew 5:16 Project – Going Back to the Basics

Welcome to November’s Matthew 5:16 Project!

If you remember, the idea behind this year-long project is to challenge us to live intentionally and in such a way that our actions point others to God… resulting in His PRAISE.

• January’s project – Replacing lies with the TRUTH of who we are.
• February’s project – Learning about God’s active love.
• March’s project – Owning our sin and receiving His forgiveness.
• April’s project – Using our words for good… to bless others.
• June’s project – Making the right choices in life.
• September’s project – Choosing joy.
• October’s project – Taking every thought captive.

November’s project is a reminder to refocus our cluttered calendars on what’s important.  You’re gonna love it.

♦♦♦

By the amazing, Amanda Barnes…

November is upon us which means the end of the year is quickly approaching.  The days keep flying off my calendar faster than the leaves are falling off my trees.

And I am aware… very aware… that Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner.  They are by far my favorite holidays because the offer:

• Familiar traditions
• Yummy food
• Fun celebrations
• Time with family and friends

But I know that with these holidays comes the potential for chaos and madness.  Especially if I don’t get in front of it… now.

So this year – in an attempt to keep a very intentional perspective on God throughout the rest of 2012 - my family has joined me in deciding to put God and family first this year.

We want the holidays to be about the holidays… not about every possible activity and event that we run across.  Even though there are lots of good stuff out there, like school programs, parties, shopping, events, fundraisers, etc.

You see.. all of those thing have the ability to steal our focus. 

And when that happen, we see changes at home.

• Our conversations are interrupted by distractions. 
• We don’t make time for each other.
• We don’t connect with God as a family. 

It’s not how we want things to be.

So, we had a family meeting so we could set expectations for this coming holiday season now rather than find ourselves frustrated later.  And we have declared the month of November as a month of WORSHIP.

We want togetherness in heart and spirit and mind.

We want to be a family who will intentionally PRAISE our God – together.

And we feel that in order to stand strong against the pull of our culture to be all and do all to everyone … we need to be united at home.

• United in what we believe.
• United in who (or what) we will worship.
• United in FAITH in The ONE True GOD.
• United by prayer and worship.
• United by intentionally putting God at the head of our home and dinner table.

So this month, as we prepare to offer thanks with our country, we will offer thanks to God for what we have… today.

The big and little things.

We will Praise God for WHO He is and WHAT He has done for us.

WE will share testimony of HIS GOODness.

We will read scripture chosen by a different family member each day.

We will read the scripture in various translations for deeper understanding.

And we will sing and worship out loud together, offering up PRAISE to God.

Now we realize it might not look Norman Rockwell-ish – but God knows our heart and our intentions.  And we intend to put HIM first.

You see, we want to slow down and simplify life so we can keep our EYES on the PRIZE.

We want to enter into the Christmas season with softer hearts and spirits hungry for JESUS.

And we know if we don’t pause and really look around… we can get caught up in the glitter and glitz of it all.  We can get sucked into the busyness of the season.

I invite you to join us.

• Will you invest in the relationships of those who sleep under your roof?
• Will you offer sacrifices of praise to The God who made you?
• Will you put your family above all of the other voices that will clamor for your attention?
• Will you say no to the requests and ‘demands’ of the world so that as a family you can pause for reflection on what this LIFE is really all about?

This won’t be easy, because saying “no” is hard sometimes.

But we’ve decided we want a simpler version of the holidays.  And as a family, we want to focus on Jesus and each other.

It’s our HOPE that as we draw in close, we’ll end the year with a more refreshed and contented family.

So here’s our plan:

Each day, our family is going to spend time together reading scripture… praying… and worshiping.

We’re going to get back to the basics.

Need scripture ideas?  Check these out:

Psalm 148

1 Chronicles 16:7-36

2 Samuel 22:1-51

Need worship song ideas?  Try these:

Undignified – David Crowder Band

Good Morning – Mandisa

Only One – Jaye Thomas

No One Like Jehovah – Kelanie Gloeckler

He is Faithful – Bryan and Katie Torwalt

All Consuming Fire – Jesus Culture

Holy Ghost Party – Cory Asbury

I Love Your Presence – Bethel Live

The Word of God has Spoken – Travis Cottrell

Wounded One – Davy Flowers

Friends… may you find peace in the journey of intentionally fighting for what matters.  May you be blessed as you press into God’s heart and may you rest in knowing God is pleased with our humble attempts to teach the next generation that nothing matters more… than LOVING God with ALL that is within us.

†††

© 2012 careyscotttalks.com, Amanda Barnes

Check out my resources HERE.

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BULLYING: What to do when it affects your kids

“Mom, I can’t keep it together any longer.”

These words from my 9-year-old son were his way of telling me he could no longer handle the bullying situation at school.

Now, we were aware that Sam had been dealing with “mean boys” and we’d had several meetings discussing this with his teacher and the principal.  We just didn’t know how bad it had gotten.

Sam didn’t share with us the reality of what was happening, even though…

• We are very intentional parents.
• We invest a tremendous amount of time and energy in our kids.
• We love Sam and Sara fiercely… and they know it.

Later, he admitted that he didn’t share because he didn’t want to worry us.  And because of the bully’s threat of retribution… he kept the pain and fear to himself even when we continued to ask key questions.

But slowly, however, we noticed changes that let us know something was definitely wrong.

His sleeping and eating patterns were different.

He broke out in an itchy rash.

His grades began to drop.

Sam’s handwriting got sloppy.

And he even told a few trusted adults that he wanted to commit suicide.

I can barely type those words.

We jumped into action.  We changed schools, got him into counseling, and had difficult conversations with the bully’s mom, the school and the district’s administration.

The more we learned about what our son endured… the physical taunting and verbal threats… the more our hearts broke for our son (and the angrier we got).

With the help of professionals, we worked through the damaging effects of the bullying as a family.

We took comfort in knowing we served a big God who loved our son more than we could ever imagine… and He specializes in restoration.

Sisters, I know this is a heavy issue. 

This may not be a particularly fun read, but I bet there are many of you facing this same issue with your kids.  And since our goal is to raise Godly kids, we need to be aware of the Enemy’s plans to come against our children through… bullying.

We need to know what to look for… and what to do if we see it.

Bullying is defined as:  “A person being exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and having difficulty defending himself or herself.”   And the category of “negative actions” covers a lot, like:

• Verbal bullying, including derogatory comments and bad names
• Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
• Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
• Bullying through lies and false rumors
• Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
• Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
• Racial, sexual or cyber (cell phone or Internet) bullying

… This is a far cry from how God wants us to treat one another. 

Ephesians 4:29 says “Don’t say anything that would hurt [another person]. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.”

What Sam heard did not help him.  Instead, he was deeply wounded as this bully spoke nothing but evil over him.

So what do we do as Christ-following parents?

Here are some things to establish now, before your children experience a bully.

• Encourage your children.  Hug them.  Spend time with them.
• Pray with them, asking God to protect them from bullying and for courage to tell if they experience it themselves or see it happening to others.
• Share with them what the Bible says about how to treat others (Google “scripture on encouraging others”).
• Role play strategies with your children so they know how to respond if a situation arises.

Here are some things to do if you believe your child is being bullied already.

• Watch for warning signs such as depression, low self-esteem, health problems, poor grades and suicidal thoughts.
• Be a relentless advocate for your child by intervening if you notice a change.  Ask their teachers and principal for intervention and be persistent.  Talk to the bully’s parents.
• Ask your child about it.  Find creative ways to engage them in talking about bullying in general and their thoughts on it.  Ask if they know anyone who is being bullied in their class or school.
• Change schools or environments, if necessary.
• Enlist a Christian counselor to help work through the experiences.

Well, my courageous, compassionate, loving, sweet Sam continues to heal.  He gets stronger every day, because we are intentional to pour into him… support him… love on him… pray over him… and we are always watching for warning signs or changes in who he is or how he acts.

And we see God all over this…

Sisters, we can’t afford to sweep this issue under the table.  It is real.  It is serious.  And bullying is on the increase.

My candid advice?

Be available so they will reach out.

Build a strong bond within your family. 

Let your kids know that you have their back.

Listen to what your kids say (and what they don’t).

Teach them when it’s okay to, and how to defend themselves.

Take your kids seriously when they share fears, concerns or worries.

And don’t tolerate bullying on any level… at any time… no matter what.

†††

© 2012 careyscotttalks.com

Looking for ideas on raising Godly kids in today’s world?  You can find them HERE.

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Teaching Your Kids to Pray

My son, Sam, was praying the same old prayer again.

“Dear God, thank you for the wonderful, wonderful day we had today and let us have a wonderful, wonderful day tomorrow.  Thank you for all the wonderful things you made for us…”

Now I love that he prays.

I love that he thanks God for “wonderful” things.

But it was obvious that his heart wasn’t in it.

“Sam… why not pray about the things that happened today or the friends that need prayer for sickness or sadness?  Why not ask God to help you with things that you need to work on?  Maybe dig a bit deeper.  Make your time with God count!”

He looked at me and said the most profound thing. “Mom, it’s like eating new, fresh cookies.”

I waited trying to see where this possible rabbit trail was going.

He talked about how if we eat the same cookies over and over again, they get old and boring.  When this happens, we end up eating them anyway because we’ve grown used to them.

“But,” he said, “We should eat new and fresh cookies every day.” 

I sat there staring at him, because he… just… got… it!

“That’s like prayer, mom.  We should say new and fresh prayers to God so they don’t become something stale that we say everyday out of habit.” 

Wow… did that really just come out of my son’s mouth?

I wonder… What are your kid’s prayers like?

• Are they reciting the same prayers over and over again?
• Do they rush through them like they’re a chore?
• Do they pray with little passion or emotion?
• Are their prayers becoming routine and stale?

Maybe it’s time to breathe new life into their prayers.

Here are some suggestions to help your children have an exciting and fulfilling prayer life:

• Model it for them.  When you pray, show them how to do it.
• Talk about things they could cover in prayer so they’re praying about current situations (issues with friendships, sick classmates, upcoming tests, etc.)
• Change your prayer position.  Maybe start praying on your knees or holding hands.
• Find some appropriate scripture you can pray together over a situation.
• Teach your kids that talking to God throughout the day is prayer, too!
• Remind them there is nothing they can’t talk to Him about.
• In your own prayer time, ask God to establish a strong prayer life in your kids.

Let’s encourage our children to give God new and fresh cookies every day.

†††

REALITY CHECK:  Help establish your children’s prayer life. Teach them how to pray, when to pray and why to pray.

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Today devotional taken from my book “Raising Godly Kids.”  Buy on Amazon today!

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together.”

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The Matthew 5:16 Project – Using Our Words For Good

Welcome to April!

Amanda has prepared a great Matthew 5:16 Project for us this month.  The idea behind this year-long project is to challenge us to live intentionally and in such a way that our actions point others to God… resulting in His PRAISE. 

January’s project

Called us to replace those old lies with the TRUTH of who God says we are.

February’s project

Taught us what God says about love, and to show it as a noun and a verb.

March’s project

Encouraged us to own our sin and receive the forgiveness we are freely given.

Let’s see what April’s challenge is…

♦♦♦

By my good friend, Amanda Barnes…

Competition.

At my house, it seems never-ending.

Is it the same at yours?

On the ball field, it’s a great thing… especially when using it to motivate yourself against your best score or effort.

But when it gets my kids going against one another – it makes this momma want to pull her hair out.  It is one of the things that truly does make this girl crazy.

My dream… is a house full of children playing, laughing, getting along and encouraging one another.

My reality… however… is quite different.

Often times, my kids try to ‘one-up’ each other or prove how they might be better somehow, someway.  And when that happens, egos inflate.  The volume in our home grows and eventually feelings are hurt… or shattered!

The truth is that I want my kids to celebrate each another and acknowledge the other’s strengths and victories.  I want…

Son #1 to not be threatened by Son #2’s First Place in the weekend tournament.

Son #2 to cheer on Girl #1 even if her activities aren’t his favorite past-time.

My kids to see past their own skin to celebrate the goodness in one another.

My kids to honor one another’s tastes, ideas, creativeness, and winnings.

This past month I have seen this nasty monster of COMPETITION rear its’ ugly head at my house. So I decided to try something new.

I involved my kiddos in developing a plan to help get this under control once and for all.

• I asked them for ideas on how to stop trying to be top dog and instead rest in a position of honor and preference for one another.

• I asked what it would take to encourage them to sacrifice first – best – biggest – fastest.

And they came up with a brilliant idea!

What was it?

If pride should rear its head in our day, we are going to write out…

Truths,

Compliments,

 Words of encouragement,

Gratitude,

or blessings for one another… 

The goal is to speak life to each other.

So before those destructive feelings of competition, worthlessness or unforgiveness begin to rise up… and before they are acted on… we are going to write out words (very specific words) that counter that emotion.

Here’s how that looks: 

• Each person will have a jar that is specific to them.
• Next to each jar will be strips of paper and a pen.
• Every time we mess up, we’re going to go through the act of apology and forgiveness.
• We will then write words of encouragement to deposit in the appropriate person’s jar.

(An alternate plan would be to have a clipboard or notepad for each person with specific columns to capture ongoing truths and words.)

Either way – it must be written so you can reread over and over the truth about yourself.

And who doesn’t need that?

Add scripture:

Find Bible verses and post them throughout your home – on mirrors and chalkboards, in lunch boxes and pockets.

A few to consider are:

• 2 Peter 3:18
• 1 Corinthians 3:21
• Philippians 2:3
• Romans 12:9-11

For the next month, encourage each other to read the scriptures aloud and pray for one another.

The idea is to absorb these truths into our hearts… our heads… our habits… and our lives.

God has much to say about pride and humility.  The commandment Jesus left us with was to love God and love people (not ourselves above all else).

Why not take this month to create a new habit in your family?

I am excited to have my kids in on the planning stages of this month’s activity.

I’m expectant to see hearts grow in JOY as we pursue God’s heart for one another.

I want my kids to live in a place of gratitude.

I hope you’ll join us as we learn to be more intentional is using our words for good.. and in loving others better!

Let’s first begin our mornings by praising the One who made us, and then allow that attitude to extend to one another.

Let’s discipline our thoughts and our heart so each word we speak tastes sweet on our tongue.

Let’s train our kids to be proud of the words they speak and hear.

Let’s be intentional in using our words to edify the body of Christ.

Let’s start at home.

†††

©2012 careyscotttalks.com, Amanda Barnes

Order my devotional book “Raising Godly Kids” on Amazon today!

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together.”

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My Book is Available On Kindle!

I am excited to announce that my devotional book

“Raising Godly Kids”

is now available for purchase on Kindle!

Anyone can be a parent, but being a Godly parent takes intentionality.

Of all the people in the world, God chose YOU to raise your children.

He trusts you to love them… teach them… and pray for them.

The devotions in this book will help you in your journey to raise kids who love God, and see Him in their everyday lives.

I pray it blesses you, your kids, and generations to come!

You can purchase it on Amazon by clicking here. 

It will be in print early April, and available for purchase through my blog and website.  Watch for details! 

Would you please consider passing this along to others who might enjoy this book?

†††

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Perfect Kids

Are you raising your kids to be… perfect?

Are you teaching them that mistakes are… unforgivable?

Are your kids scared to tell you when they… mess up?

When they miss the mark, does their offense carry a great… penalty?

Be careful.

Our job as parents isn’t to raise perfect people.

It’s to teach and train our kids to be respectful, compassionate, caring, mindful, engaging, healthy, Godly, and honest adults.

Raising a “perfectionist” is a dangerous game. 

Why?

Because in their minds, they will never be good enough.  And on top of that, nothing will ever be good enough for them.

That breeds discontentment.

Discontentment leads to a lifelong pursuit of a happiness they will never attain… or sustain.

I want my kids to know that everyone and everything in life is imperfect.

I want them to have realistic expectations of themselves and others.  I want them to know that true happiness isn’t something the world can (or should) give them.

Do I expect honest effort?

Yes!

Do I ask them to go the extra mile in certain areas?

Most definitely.

Do I promote or allow the easy way out or laziness?

No way.

Do we set goals and push our kids from their comfort zones?

Of course.

Do my kids receive rewards and consequences accordingly?

Without a doubt.

But… my husband and I are very intentional in making our family a place for grace, acceptance and forgiveness.

We are okay with messing up.

We want our kids to fail while under our roof so we can walk them through it, teaching them that failure is just a part of life and not the end of the world.

They need to know it doesn’t define them.

We want them to understand that true happiness … true identity… true acceptance can only be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Not in the world.

They need to know that while the world will never be happy with…

• who they are,
• what they look like,
• the amount of money they make,
• the career they choose,
• the friends they keep… 

God will.

God is.

And because God is happy with them, our kids can be happy with themselves… too.

They can adopt a healthy self-esteem that has nothing to do with the world’s standard of… perfection.

The goal being that our children will see themselves as God sees them.

“I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.”  Psalms 139:14

Sisters, teaching our kids to be perfect sets them up to struggle in life.

As parents trying to raise Godly kids… be careful not to teach it, model it, or expect it.

Instead… let’s purpose to impart grace, acceptance, and love.

Always.

†††

REALITY CHECK:  When you expect your kids to be perfect, you’re setting them up to fail.

©2012 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at Moms Together.

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Hard Lessons

It’s hard to watch your kids struggle.

Sometimes you have to jump in and fix it for them… but sometimes you have to stand back and watch them figure it out.

Ugh.

We are dealing with one of those “stand back” times right now, and it’s not fun.

But as parents trying to raise Godly kids…

• We have to allow them to mess up. 
• We must bite our tongue as we watch them make decisions that could backfire.
• We need to give them the freedom to try and fail.

If we don’t… how will they learn?

I’m sharing the details of our struggle at CWAHM today.

I wonder if you’ve dealt with something like this, too.  Why not come visit me and share your experience.

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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Making It Your Own

Gift-giving.  Decorating.  Advent calendars.  Santa.

There are so many different camps you can land in when it comes to celebrating Christmas.  Just with gift-giving…

• Some set an equal budget for each child.
• Others give gifts generously.
• Several give just three gifts because that’s what the wise men did.
• A few give no gifts at all.
• Others stick to the four-gift rule: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.
• Still some give one gift to charity for every gift they buy their kids.

It makes me wonder if there is a wrong way and a right way to approach giving gifts to your kids.  Are you spoiling your kids if they get too many… or is it a form of child-abuse if you don’t give enough?

How do you know?

With so many different ways to celebrate, do you ever feel like you have to “explain” your rationale as to which camp you subscribe?  Is there guilt attached to your decision?  What about pride?

Can you keep Jesus at the center and still give generously or hang lights?  Are you wrecking your kids if you don’t find time to serve in a soup kitchen?

Are you missing the boat if you don’t do an advent calendar?  Is one better than another?

Are you able to acknowledge Santa without criticism?  Or do others judge you because you choose to be honest about the man in the red suit?

Ugh.  All the talk of rights and wrongs drives me nuts.

Well for what it’s worth, I think…

Wanna read the rest? 

Come visit me at CWAHM today where I give my simple response to it all.  And I’d love to hear your thoughts, too.

Hope to see you!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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Triple Play Tuesday!

Woah… I am all over the place today!

Lace up your walking shoes and come take a tour with me…

FIRST STOP, Christian Work At Home Moms (aka CWAHM)

I’m discussing how we need to be intentional in pouring God’s Truths into our kids by finding creative ways to bring Him into focus.  When we do, we are taking back the ground that the world (the Enemy) has stolen from our kids.

• We can’t let our guard down because our kids are in a Christian school. 
• We cannot rely on Sunday church to keep them in line.
• We shouldn’t assume that just because we are Christians, our kids will follow suit.

Not a chance.

As parents raising Godly kids, we need to be on point with this struggle at all times.  Come see me… I have ideas to share!

SECOND STOP is at my sweet friend, Heatherly’s blog – A Pinkdaisy Life.

She asked the question: What moves me into the Christmas spirit?

And I bet you won’t be surprised by my answer.

When this certain thing happens, I’m quick to tears because it speaks to a deeper place in my spirit and I sit in awe of the humbling events surrounding the birth of Jesus.

I wonder… what moves you into the Christmas mood?

LAST STOP is at my dear friend Shannon’s blog, Jesus and My Orange Juice.

In this post, I am writing from the perspective of the Prophetess, Anna. Do you remember the part she played in the story of baby Jesus?

Among other things, she reminds us to be patient for God’s promises because He will fulfill.  Heck, she was 84 before she saw hers come to pass.

And I love her excitement when she looked upon the Messiah.  What an honor that must have been!

†††

Whew… I need more coffee.

Why not grab some of your own and come visit me?  Hope to see you soon!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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He Really Is

This time of year is unmatched for me.

I love it all… and so do my kids.

But the real challenge comes in trying to keep Jesus at the center of our celebration.  It’s easy to subscribe to the world’s idea of Christmas.

Because to be honest, it’s not all that bad.

It’s fun to decorate the tree.  We love the holiday music and movies.  There’s ample family (and friend) time.

The smells…

The sights…

The sales…

But… they don’t always point to Jesus.

So as parents, we need to be intentional in reminding our children that this holiday celebration is a remembrance of the first Christmas.

We need to make sure Jesus really is the reason.

At CWAHM today, I’m sharing some ways to do just that.  Whether you are looking for ideas yourself or have some to share, I’d love to hear from you!

©2011 careyscotttalks.com

Let’s Connect!  Follow me on Twitter, Book Me to speak at your event, Like my Facebook Fan Page, Visit me each Wednesday at “Moms Together,” Learn about LeadHer’s mission to equip women to make an impact for Christ.

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